When I've had a long day and, in the background, songs about love play on, the writer in me is roused to take up the pen again. Literally. I actually scribbled some notes before I sat down to write this.
A sombre mood raised a lot of thoughts and they churned around in this head until they finally found an outlet or a place to settle down somewhere comfortably. I can't find a way to introduce these tough topics I want to talk about in a mature way, so I will just dive headlong, without a second thought, before I change my mind.
"You always smile, but in your eyes, the sorrow shows". This is simply a statement that says about a lover's state of emotional turmoil, when his hopes fail, when his world comes crashing, when you can see the light in his eyes dim. It also speaks about men's obsession to maintain a strong, steady and stable emotional front to the world, even when he is in pain. Otherwise he is ridiculed to be too emotional and womanly. This sentence also tells of untold pain that we hide from the ones we love, especially if the one who causes the pain is someone you loved. Lastly, it just shows us the depth of emotions the person will go to, to make sure that others do not find out about the hurt they have caused us.
This is one of the worst situations in life, but almost everyone of us has gone through this, at some point or the other in our lives.
Hard truths of adult life, is another such topic. You break a lot of hearts and your heart will be broken a lot of times too, in return. There is no escape, unless you are some fairytale character who finds her knight in shining armor, or his Rapunzel standing at the window. You can either let life take you on a roller coaster ride, meet thousands of people who could-have-been, and a few who were. But ultimately you need to choose one who suits the best. And this suitor's criteria will be some mix of pleasing the parents and the own self. There is no Golden ratio here, but its about how you want your life to be when your parents will no longer be around.
Another very very tough part about life is that, one day you'll leave home and then there will be no-one to protect you. You'll have friends. Some of them will be fake, some will be real. Some will be temporary and some will be long lasting. Sometimes friends will backbite and blackball you, sometimes they will be your angels and guardians. Make new friends as the old ones leave you or the good ones turn bad. Friends will become competitors professionally in the future, but you have to be very open to them socially. Because a friend is whom you'd want always in your life. Competitors they maybe on the playing field, but if he is a true friend, he will always be there for you socially.
Marriage is not easy. It comes with a big social agenda and becomes a social show off. If you want that kind of a marriage, you're just putting yourself up for a long life of double faceted emotions and feelings. If you're the one who wants a comfortable and happy life, please go marry the one you love. I once knew a guy who did the latter, and now is so happy. His parents finally understood now. It's so frustrating how parents will always think they are the right judges to their kids' happiness. The parents don't know much about their kids after they have set foot outside of the parent's homes. This one gets trickier when the parents have demands which are vacuous and self serving and plainly irrational. Even after painstaking process of selection and elimination, marriages have broken down. Who can really say what works and what doesn't? Let the individuals involved decide I say. Set down a few guidelines and directives, but let them take their decision I say. After all, this has to signify their first step into real independence in this real world out there.
Now, I'll say openly and frankly, I've been beaten, battered and broken, not just a few times, but more times than I care to keep a count of. I've had fleeting love stories to really long ones. I've had loveless love-stories and such intense ones that the few days have been enough not only to last my entire lifetime, but a few more times over. I've had ladies, my parents did not approve of because of their behaviour, because of their family history with my parents, because of their apparent age gap, but I know deep down, everyone of them could have been equally good, in different ways. Recently I met this lady, who just enlivens me to the very core. Sparks and tensions run high in her vicinity. Now that my friend is not something that happens every other day, or week, or even month. It comes once a lifetime. And when it does, the days become brighter, more colorful. The air becomes fresher and scented. Life moves at breakneck speed. But you enjoy the ride, because deep down you know, no matter what happens next, you've lived these few moments completely.
I haven't even begun to describe the plethora of feelings this encounter has triggered inside; from the intensity, the spectrum and the perfection of these feelings. The entire being humming with a pleasant vibe that manages to persuade the surroundings to do his bidding. There is always a karmic balance to this too, I believe. The way it feels to just know there is someone you can just pick up the phone and dial, at every second of the day or night. The way you feel when she wraps her arms around you and the way she makes you feel when she kisses your lips. The balance come next.
And then all this will come crashing down one day, when everything is not possible because of parental preferences which effectively makes you the diagonally opposite of exactly everything they want. It feels like being kicked out of the park altogether. But no-one said life was going to be easy, all they said was, it's going to be worth it. And although, at times it does feel as if the juice wasn't worth the squeeze, the show must go on and you'll have to move on. Although there will be hands dealt to you that are just unplayable and unwinnable, you'll have to play them as best as you can and move on. Life isn't fair. Life isn't easy. But let it show you the good parts and the bad, and you'll have to learn to take them both and enjoy and laugh during the good times, and cry hard during the bad. Life is a roller coaster. Once yo accept that, it becomes a journey that will be worth remembering at the fag end, when all you are left to do is walk the sunset boulevard, with or without the people you've cared for all your life.
