How does it feel to talk to an Ex? Especially when she hasn't spoken word to you in the last two years? Weird? That's an understatement as any that can be imagined. And when there is accusation in all the sentences she said, you start wondering if you had starting imagining things and emotions that weren't there. Or if you were reading more into whatever that was said and creating things out of thin air and reading between the lines where there was nothing to be read.
It makes a mess out of you. You wonder if you had made the right call when you broke up with her.
You thought you two had an amiable break up but it turns out to be a bad one. She took it badly and then all hell breaks loose.
You think that there is some hidden motive behind that quick chat. Your imagination kicks into overdrive and all the bizarre ideas start chasing each other in your mind. Each idea, each sentence starts off a memory. It seems unreal and so unworldly that your skin starts crawling and you look back to remember to see if there was anything of significance that you missed. And when she leaves all too suddenly, you go through the chat again to see if you behaved badly or if all the things in your head have a basis, if there was anything that you missed to notice, if there were any hints there that you should not have missed, if you said something that might have brought back painful memories.
It is a nightmare when something like this catches up unawares. It leaves you uncomfortable with yourself and leaves you wondering why did you even break up with them. Because you realize whatever the reason for the break up, You DID actually LOVE them at some point of your life and THAT cannot be erased, however hard you try. And that you can try to block the feelings but you can never be at peace with yourself. That is how one loses one's innocence with a rude shock in wait.
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