somethings no-one should read

This is not a blog which I'd expect you to read if your name does not have the initials AP or AT.
And if your name does have these initials and you still don't know if it refers to you or not, you'd be better off skipping this particular post and discarding the memory that you ever came across this article ever.

But if you are reading this line, then I guess you are the one I am talking about, since, I'm pretty sure, I'll never read this after I'm done putting my thoughts here for you to read.

Personally, in my life, I'd gladly choose a happy moment, even with the certainty of a sad moment in the future, to a dull moment with no assurance that a sad moment will not wait for me in the coming days. I'd rather have ups and downs in my life than a simple straight path with no undulations, for the high-points and the low-points leave behind powerful memories that make up the essence of life.

When I am 80 years old, I'd love to think back and remember my life-road's highs and lows, my successes and my mistakes, rather than look at an empty and drab life-road where I managed to circumnavigate the potholes, by taking the safe routes and the middle paths. I'd love to be able to laugh at my mistakes and see a tear or two trickle down at the thought of the happiness bygone.
I'd like to laugh at the stupid castles I had built in the air, and cry joyfully at all the things I'd managed to do right.

I'd love to be able to tell a lot of tales to my grand-kids, if I have them - tell them of the days when I was carefree, risk-loving and accident prone. I'd love to be able to fall back into a reverie of thoughts, along paths that I'd never explored before, and which only then the "old" wisdom would show me. I'd like to be able to fall into my final eternal sleep with enough experiences to relive for an entire eternity, until I'm finally let free, to roam wherever I may forever and ever more..

night outs - nights out

I looked at my watch and wondered where the hours had gone since I had last looked at the white dial. Wasn't the small hand parked squarely at 2?? It seems to have skipped all the other numerals in between and landed stubbornly past 5. Really?? 3 hours???

Somewhere in between, I must have lost track of the time or else my watch has had a serious case of amnesia and malfunctioning. Or perhaps it is just too indignant at my callousness with which I treat time and is punishing me for it..

But then somewhere down the line I realise that the poor watch is a mechanical contraption after all, unfeeling, unemotional and untenable. I feel sorry to have hurled abuses at its steady rhythm and slowly and sarcastically berate myself for having being so thrifty with Time.

In a dark corner of my heart, though, I smile and relive the moments which had seemed so fleeting, and yet I know they are moments which will last a lifetime. I chuckle at the day that spreads out before me, and before you know it, I have already planned to make up for the lost time, for that time holds something I consider very precious to my soul. Under no circumstances will I let that time pass me by, so I make do with being harder on myself, for I hold those times dearer to me than my life itself.

And as I put my thoughts to paper, the morning star winks out, and its soft light is lost in the brilliance that spreads out of the west.

the story of a bright blue star

This is in continuation to the same motivation from a particularly peppy chat today afternoon with a particularly "Pretty" lady friend.
As it turns dark but before the moon and the stars wink in, there is a bright twinkle in the sky just like a diamond only infinitely prettier. It is the evening star shining bright to watch over you, Oh thy sleeping child!
And in the cold mornings, as the stars gradually wink out, the morning star winks again to let you know it'll be back.

There is no lore to this in many cultures, but they are the romanticists delight, the star-crossed lovers' sigh and the poet's sonnet. They are the one and the same - Ishtar more commonly known as Venus, named after the Goddess of love.

serendipity

Serendipity is the lucky discovery of an object that you were not looking for by accident. Our world teems with such examples..penicillin, america and what not...you name it..and it was probably more of serendipity than a focussed search.

Now, I might be wrong, but I believe that our universe is also a result of serendipity. And out of this is born the fundamentality of probability. Everything is not deterministic as we would likt them to be. And whatever we perceive to be deterministic always has some amount of probability intrinsic to it however we may try to ignore.

This leads me to ask, is it the deterministic nature nature of the universe which leads to serendipity or the probabilistic nature?

Had it been a completely probabilistic Universe, it would be child's play to convince ourselves about the serendipity. Serendipity is an embodiment of the chance - the very basis of the probabilistic theory.

So, now the real question is whether Deterministic Theory account for serendipity. Now any layman might raise this very valid question, if the universe is deterministic, there is no chance then how can serendipity be applicable. I would tell him thus, It is the determinism in this universe which ensures that a person does what is expected of him in spite of the million decision he takes to avoid it. All the what if's that could have gone the other way went the other way but still he managed to come back to the right road? that would be the essential nature of the deterministic world again. The end has to be predetermined and certain in spite of any deviations that may occur in between.

Serendipity may be borne out of either universes but it is an essential part of our life and this is what makes our life infinitely more interesting even amidst our drab daily activities.

Imperfection lets us appreciate perfection

This thought struck me when I stood in front of a lush green lawn, fresh after a morning rain. My friend commented that It was the greenest grass he had ever seen. That thought kept bugging me until I comprehended a very important human notion of comparison. We love to compare objects and their traits. When we say how blue the sky is, we are implicitly comparing it with a mental image of the bluest sky we remember seeing.

We say how beautiful she looks..or how cute the baby looks! They all imply comparison albeit done implicitly and unconsciously. Although we sometimes pay them compliments to conform with the appropriate societal forms and requirements, it still incites us to compare this situation with a familiar one in the past or with an ideal situation we have in our utopian imagination.

But within all this lies the fundamental weakness of our being imperfect and our inability to make judgements without comparison. The goodness of an object in every sense should not be the result of a comparison but an appreciation of the object's own intrinsic beauty and value. It should not be the byproduct of a skewed comparison between two situations which we perceive to be fundamentally alike.

Another very important issue that could be raised here is that if everything were perfect, then we would all be good and no-one will be better and none the best. We would all be spitting images of God himself and we would all be the same in every sense. It is the small imperfections and shortcomings in us that makes us all different. Unbelievably, it is the small quirk in the mouth, or the twitchy jawline that makes us imperfect, which in turn allows in all to appreciate perfection when we see it. Some appreciate the perfection, some covet it, others desire it, but only some truly have it. But what very few might have is the ability to see others perfection and appreciate it, without belittling others or even themselves. We appreciate beauty at the cost of considering ourselves imperfect which in itself is a crime against your own conscience, but it is the cost we pay for comparing others with our own sense of perfection.

Perfect is not a idea, it is neither a goal, it is simply a state of mind.

Ethics

This is a so-very-common word we come across in our lives. So many other words have been built around it too like conscientiousness, conscience, values and value systems. It is a tragedy that we have such a rigid structured system of ethics that even the slightest perception of anyone deviating from it is considered a social faux-pas in the least and a crime in most cases.

Ethics have been ingrained in us since our childhood. We are supposed to imbibe ethics into every walk of our life. Even while writing this article/blog I have to be consciously aware if I am being politically correct and if anything here is taking a dig at some one.

We sometimes need to forgo ethics in situations of extreme urgency or extreme complications, but we are still held responsible for our actions and are looked down upon. But this is to all the two-faced hypocrites I direct this to : Do you flinch when you speak two facedly? Have you ever thought for a moment the purport of your actions on others?

If we committing an unethical action is a crime then hypocrisy is a felony which has no excuse.

Random thoughts

In this sombre mood, when I get too philosophical, the strangest of stories come back to me.
There was this once when I read somewhere that Love was more enjoyable when it was not yours to take, but yours to give.
When you have loved someone for most of what you can remember of your life, he states enigmatically that, you will love her more because she was unattainable and her fey attractions will always be more enticing and enduring than if we were the object of their love.
However stupid it may sound it rings true everytime I think about it. For instance, didn't the toy in the shelf, the one your mum wouldn't buy you look more enticing than the one you already had at home?
Doesn't that car look amazing? But once you own it all sense of awe and wonder disappears over a week. What happened to that girl you so desperately loved after she agreed to go out with you?
Do all things lose their wonder we held for them once we have it?
Food for thought!