What makes you beautiful

I should put up a disclaimer at the beginning, before I put all my thoughts on paper, I got piss drunk last night. Sorry heavily inebriated. And then I read an article about beauty. And I may be in love. That is a lot of disclaimers, isn't it?

They say, 'Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.' And how apt it is! We all have a different appreciation for different objects, different values and different ideas, but we all still find something to describe as beautiful.

We remember the instances when beauty buffeted our psyche and overwhelmed it- that sunset at that beach, that winter morning with a beautiful azure sky, that rainy evening when you were on the road, that first kiss, that lady on the sidewalk who flipped her hair when the wind was strong, that crinkle of her mouth when she laughed, that wink of your best friend when he tries to make you laugh, that sound of laughter in a crowded train station, that car that just drove by, that photo of stars, and the list will go on. And on.

When we use 'beautiful' to describe a person, it is with an intense and personal note. 'Beautiful' is a hallowed word, that is used to describe someone who is so much more than just a pretty or handsome face. It is so much more than an hourglass figure and a v-shaped torso with well defined musculature. Because it is about that what cannot be described- a person's quintessential being, what we call a soul.

We don't hear people described as 'beautiful' much these days. When we do, it is either on the telly or at the movies or in books, because 'beautiful' is a word that has connotations of 'love', platonic or romantic, and love and beauty have made minstrels sing countless songs, poets write endless poems, writers write feverishly, painters paint wonderful art. These two words, 'love' and 'beautiful' have kept almost everyone of us awake at night at least once and some of us every night. And that is what makes our life so much more than a simple existence.

So what makes you beautiful?

Of the angels and our demons

Do I believe in a God? No. That is because I do not want to follow a religion. I dislike the intricacies that come attached with religions. The dogma. The rules. The boundaries.

But, there has to be a but, I would like to believe in a cosmic balance. Call it what you will- Karma, Fatum, destiny or any other of a million words. I reject the notion of a single fixed ending though- everyone cannot have their futures written out before hand- that would go completely against the idea of life, of freedom, of choice.

I believe in the idea that there is a multitude of possibilities for a future that can be pursued by each and every single one of us and its our choices that allows for an infinite number of nexus in our futures at every turn. Around each corner.

Its how we meet someone from our past. Or future. In our present. Life should be a choice- chaos of choices that miraculously fit into a pattern. A web called time. A network we live through.

In such a realm, we only have control over our own choices and the most we can do is to build bridges towards where we expect to go, or where we expect a nexus to be. We can only hope for other's choices to bring them to the nexus where we are headed towards. The key being, the key people will also come there eventually.

Some nexus are important for they are the highs and lows in our lives, others are dreams because the nexus are so so far and so complicated that sailing across an open sea without a compass would be easier than swimming through time to our dreams. And then these nexus do happen, elation settles in.
People involved in these situations become angels. When such nexus don't occur, the whole experience gives rise to demons- a figment of our own imaginations we create to pin all the blame on.

But the wheel of time goes on spinning its web and we are inevitably drawn towards some nexus more than the others. All we can do is walk the paths we create with our own choices and not regret about not choosing the alternate path. In the end, its not about how many nexus we passed through, but about how we conducted ourselves when we did find our dreams coming true. Did we become angels or did we create demons?